Sarah and Coby
Family Life

The Sucky Parent That I Am (or am not)

Fragoso Family

My parenting skills really suck sometimes. I realize now after parenting for almost 20 years that I know absolutely nothing about how to do this job. I think I know, but everyday is different and just when I feel like I have a handle on these boys, I simply don’t.

Who ever thought that raising humans was going to be so gosh darn challenging? I mean, my parents did it, and my siblings and I turned out half way decent most of the time (I think). However, I’m not sure one tiny bit if what I’m doing is at all going to translate into stardom, or a Nobel peace prize, or even any sort of notoriety and yet, being a parent is the MOST important job I have.

I told Rowan in the car the other day (my 7 year old son) that I was really excited about an opportunity I have to possibly be on TV and my son asked me in a very wise sort of way if this was something I super wanted to do forever? I thought about it for a minute and answered him honestly. Honesty is something I’m working on with my kids. Not that I make a habit of lying to them, but I’m trying to determine how much to share of my grown up stuff and how much to sugar coat or skip. So this time I just shared wholeheartedly and truthfully. I told Rowan that my most important job, the one that I care about more than anything else I do and the one that really matters was being the best mom and the best wife that I can be. I told Rowan that I love him, and Jaden, and Coby, and daddy more than anything that I could even touch or explain or imagine. I wasn’t able to say that without tearing up and Rowan got very serious and really listened. I then told him that I love to be creative, I love to cook, and that I really really love to help people and if I can be on TV and spread that message further without compromising all the hard work I do to be a good mom and wife, than that would be awesome. I also told him that at the end of the day, the only thing that really matters, however, was my job of mom.

Mom job is number one always. Forever. To infinity and beyond. So I guess now that I type this, I’m realizing that maybe my parenting skill don’t suck all that badly. Maybe I am doing a decent job. Maybe the times I loose my cool or feel badly at my ability to be positive or clear or patient is outweighed at my very true desire to raise great humans and to have boys that know I love them more than the moon and stars and wine. Maybe I’m doing all right and maybe just maybe I can do both the career thing and the mommy thing and still feel good about both. I just have to remember what my own mom told me a long time ago, when Coby was just a tiny baby and I was worried that my horrible diapering skills being the thing that depicted his life in general and for sure the time I accidentally bumped his head meant that he would end up in prison at the tender age of 5. My very wise mother told me that you can make up for a lot when it comes to love. She told me to hug and kiss and play and laugh as much as possible and THAT is what your kids will remember because we ALL are human. Super mom does not exist. My mom was a very smart lady and I have to believe and I want you to believe that the days of laughter, play, love, and joy will outweigh the ones in which you find yourself writing blog posts about being a sucky parent. So stop what you are doing right now and go hug a kid, laugh, and play, and lavish that kid with lots of love. Preferably do this with your own kid and not a random one because that could be a bit awkward.

As always, my dear readers, enjoy!

Sarah Fragoso

Sarah Fragoso is an international best selling author of 6 books, co-owner of the Chico, CA based gym JS Strength and Conditioning, and founder of the Everyday Paleo franchise. Sarah is the co-host of the popular Sarah and Dr. Brooke Show podcast and she also conducts workshops and retreats on the subjects of nutrition, lifestyle and fitness.

Her message is from the heart and she carries a genuine desire to help other families looking for guidance. These attributes have contributed to her successes and provide the drive to keep the discoveries coming.

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  1. sarah, you are such an involved parent. I love watching you with your boys – you always are willing to drop your tiredness to chase a ball that Arowan kicks, or wrestle with them. Parenting is such a juggling act, and I think you’re dong really well at holding your balance.

    1. Thank you so much Lynn!! It’s the hardest work I do, but absolutely the most rewarding.

  2. What a great way to kick off your new venture. While I’m not a mom or a parent.. One day I will be.. A parent that is.

    I always wonder how parents do it and how they filter the real world to their kids.

    I think that’s what’s best about kids is that they have no filter, no motives most of the time and no BS, they’re just real.

    And I’d guess that’s one of the best parts of being a parent.

    Best wishes for your own blog!

    1. Thank you so much Evan! You nailed it, one of the best parts of being a parent is absolutely seeing the world through my kiddos eyes and appreciating their “no filter” although sometimes I do want them to have one… LOL!

  3. Chasti Burnett-Rock says:

    Thank you for this Sarah, to remind us that even you, are human & have your moments of doubt. Also a mother of 3, I worry extensively about the outcomes of my actions, what I do or don’t do with them. I worry about the time I spend working, the fact that I’m often distracted, worrying about them & everything else that I may not have much control over. I do make sure though that I always tell them that I love them & show them affection though! This was humbling & reassuring. Thank you for sharing this with us!

    1. Worrying is such a huge part of parenting – and I’m really trying to let my worrying go because it gets in the way of my joy!! It’s so hard however to NOT worry when you love so deeply, when you care more about a person than you ever imagined possible. However, kids just want to have fun and be loved and we have to remember that and have fun and offer love as often as possible. You are obviously and amazing mom and I’m sure you kiddos know how intensely you love them. 🙂

  4. Rina says:

    This just so seriously made me want to cry in my coffee cup. You are so right, Sarah. My Dad did a lot of things wrong but the one thing he did right was love me more than anything. At the end of the day, if you JUST love you’re kids more than anything and tell them and show them EVERYDAY…it’s enough. It’s all they really need. At least it’s all I’ve ever needed.

    I absolutely LOVE the new blog!!! I can wait to read more stories like this and hear what your new beautiful voice has to say! XOXO

    1. Thank you Rina!!! xoxo

  5. chistine says:

    Your mom was a very wise lady. Remember also that our children learn from our weaknesses/mistakes etc…not just us being “perfect”.

    1. You are so correct. Letting our kids see our mistakes also takes the pressure off of them to always do things the “right way”. I also am a big fan of making sure I apologize to my kids when I make a mistake that affects them. They know I’m not perfect which makes them respect me more.

  6. David Locker says:

    Thanks for all of your food information. It’s been a staple for us the last several years. I couldn’t help but notice that you sound somewhat conflicted between career and mom. Hope that straightens out if that is what is happening. All the best! – David

    1. Hi David,

      I’m not conflicted, just sharing my thoughts on my life and my journey. I love my career and I love my kiddos but I love my kiddos more so it helps me to keep that in the forefront at all times. 🙂

  7. Allyssa says:

    I’m loving this new blog of yours, Sarah. I really like learning more about YOU and your big heart. I’m glad you made this little space to share other important things that are on your heart–us women need that from time to time.

    1. Thank you so much Allysa! So glad you are enjoying the new blog!

  8. Blaire says:

    Feel good post. Thanks, as always, Sarah for your insight.

  9. I love your candid post! It’s so relieving to read a blogosphere I can relate. I started my health journey with your cookbook! I am a mom wife and homeschool full time our 3 boys who are 16, 13, 12! Thanks for your post – and congratulations and blessings on your success and adventures. You inspire me to want to be in the best shape!

  10. Sarah,

    I am so excited to see you in this new role of just writing about life. That is what my blog did for me…gave me space to just write. I also homeschool my two daughters (my girls went to Thrive with your two boys for a bit and I just saw you a few weeks ago at CORE! I was too embarrassed to say hi, though, as I am sure you cannot go anywhere without being bombarded!!)

    Anyway, I just read this post and your homeschooling post and I look forward to reading more. I agree with you wholeheartedly – being a mom is my number 1 job. I resigned from teaching high school when I was 6 months pregnant and never went back (11 years ago!). It is the toughest job, but worth all the blood sweat and tears.

    Have a beautiful day and I look forward to seeing you around town!

    1. Hi Jenny! Thank you SO Much! Please say hi anytime you see me, I don’t mind at ALL!!! I hope you have a beautiful day as well!!

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