Musings and Introspection

39 Things I Learned in my 30s

It’s early in the morning on my birthday and I’m sitting here thinking. Thinking about my life, my future, and my past. Today marks my 39th year on this planet and holy guacamole I’ve learned a lot in my 30s. I’m not much of a list maker but I’m feeling compelled to make a list – a list of 39 things I’ve learned in my 30s intermingled with things I’ve learned about myself.

I know I could make a list that’s a heck of a lot longer than this but condensing, simplifying, and focusing is a good thing.

Alrighty then, here goes:

  1. I’m a mommy and I have that magical mommy power that can make everything better – but if I’m not working on making ME better – that magical power starts to fade.
  2. The insecurities I dealt with in my 20s wasted a lot of my time but I’m grateful I didn’t drag them with me into my 30s.
  3. I’m a real, powerful, strong, vivacious, proud, and in love with life woman, and that’s a lot to handle – but I’m ok with that and if you are NOT ok with that – well I’m ok with that too.
  4. I love to eat.
  5. Sleep is more important than anything I need to do even if that “anything” means everything, there’s always tomorrow.
  6. A nightly cup of camomile tea provides more comfort and value than a nightly glass of wine and that cup of tea ups the value of that glass of wine when I DO decide to have one.
  7. Getting dirty outside is just as fun now as when I was a little kid.
  8. Embarrassing my kids in public is incredibly gratifying. It’s called payback for all the hell they put me through when they were really little.
  9. I love to be strong, without comparison or competition or judgement or even goals. I just love to be freaking strong.
  10. It’s ok to say no.
  11. It’s ok to end relationships that suck.
  12. Having a small handful of close friends that will love you no matter what is mind bogglingly easier and more rewarding than having a gigantic and exhausting social circle.
  13. Apologizing for taking care of yourself is not really taking care of yourself.
  14. I will probably never stop getting tattoos.
  15. Diets never work – food is not the enemy.
  16. Stress is relentless, scary, mean, and nasty but it’s all in how I view it and I can choose to not be taken down by stress because it’s just an illusion, it’s just a word – and I can CHOOSE to see the good in every stressful situation.
  17. Forgiveness always.
  18. Communicate, communicate, communicate, communicate.
  19. It’s ok to let go of the past and it’s possible to do so when you let go of the behaviors that have made you hold on to the past for so long.
  20. Having a bunch of small pets like hermit crabs and fish is such a bad idea when you have boys who promise to take care of them and they can’t even remember simple things like where they left their shoes.
  21. Wearing shoes when you are a little boy isn’t really necessary and mom’s need to just chill out about the whole shoe thing because most of the time no one even knows where they are anyway!
  22. I’m totally ok  with wearing aprons and bathrobes and I still feel sexy when wearing either.
  23. High heels are seriously evil but I will wear them maybe once every couple of months with the right outfit because high heels are also seriously awesome when applied correctly.
  24. Life is filled with beautiful moments and the most beautiful of all the moments is the sound of my children’s laughter.
  25. Sometimes saying nothing says it all.
  26. When someone is grieving it’s ok to tell them you care and that you love them, that’s all they really need to know.
  27. Compassion, compassion, compassion.
  28. I have learned to be ok with my boys getting angry and yelling for stupid reasons as long as they will listen to my long lecture after it’s all over about compassion.
  29. My mom was right about everything.
  30. My boys will always remember dancing in the kitchen, pillow fights in a hotel room, and how attentively I listen – they need ME to be present – not a pristine house, perfect meals, or organized closets.
  31. The best is truly yet to come and the most exciting thing about life is not knowing what might happen next.
  32. It’s liberating to own up to my mistakes and it’s ok to be unapologetic when you know you haven’t made one.
  33. I will never be taken advantage of in the business world ever ever ever again – just try me.
  34. I am Sarah, I am ok, I have days where I’m not ok, and that’s ok too.
  35. Life is risky, scary, and can take you over like a raging fire. I choose to be the fire.
  36. Success shouldn’t be measured by all that’s around you, or all that you’ve done, or all that you’ve accomplished, or what’s in your bank account – success should be measured by what you feel in your heart, by what makes you sing with joy, and by what makes you cry with laughter – and how often you feel happiness rather than pain.
  37. I know that life is short and I’m beginning to be ok with that because my life has been filled with so much good that I will never take another day for granted and that’s more than most could ask for.
  38. It’s ok to have regrets, how else would we ever learn?
  39. Love is the only thing that matters. Only love.

Sarah Fragoso

Sarah Fragoso is an international best selling author of 6 books, co-owner of the Chico, CA based gym JS Strength and Conditioning, and founder of the Everyday Paleo franchise. Sarah is the co-host of the popular Sarah and Dr. Brooke Show podcast and she also conducts workshops and retreats on the subjects of nutrition, lifestyle and fitness.

Her message is from the heart and she carries a genuine desire to help other families looking for guidance. These attributes have contributed to her successes and provide the drive to keep the discoveries coming.

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  1. Valarie says:

    Happy Birthday, Sarah! I hope your day has been filled with love, joy and blessings.

    1. Thank you so much Valarie!! 🙂

  2. Love is the only thing that matters. Only love. #truth

    1. That’s the greatest lesson of all….. 🙂

  3. I love this so much! Happy Birthday! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 Cheers to many more.

    1. Thank you so much Ashley! 🙂

  4. Sarah says:

    “I’m totally ok with wearing aprons and bathrobes and I still feel sexy when wearing either.” YES! You are truly an inspiration Sarah!

    1. LOL! You gotta learn to rock the apron and the robe – it’s essential!!! Thank you!!!!

  5. Paula says:

    Happy birthday! I love your new site. It’s a nice mix of recipes and good posts–you keep it honest and very real. I love #2 on your list–I think I started gaining self confidence in my 30’s and even more so in my 40’s.

    1. Thank you so much Paula!! So glad you like the new site – I’m super excited about it! 🙂

  6. Adrianne says:

    So Kanu of these items on your sit I love! Birthday blessings! Boy Moms unite

    1. Adrianne says:

      So many items on your list is what I meant to say!

      1. Thank you so much Adrianne!

  7. Rick says:

    Happy Birthday Sarah!

  8. Shelly Blanshei says:

    Happy Birthday and thank you for this post. I love what you are doing, I love what you have to say. You are an inspiration to me and many. You go girl!

    1. Thank you Shelly!!!!! Your support means so much to me! 🙂

  9. Lovely! You might not be a list person, but I am and I love em’!

    1. Thank you!! 🙂

  10. Candy O says:

    Dearest Sarah,

    I was driving along in my car listening to you talk about your adventure in the Emerald Cave in Thailand yesterday and I had a thought go through my head along the lines of “I really need to thank Sarah”- so here it goes:
    I think you are just the best.
    You truly are such an inspiring woman and you are putting so much good out into the world. The way you speak about your boys with so much love and gratitude is amazing and then there is the way you speak about John, it sounds like he is your best friend, your doctor, your lover and at times your hero…. It’s such an incredibly positive thing to hear and really has impacted me over the years of listening to you.

    Thank you for everything,

    1. Thank you SO much Candy!!! Your comment made me cry a little – but in a good way of course. 🙂

  11. Maiken says:

    Number 36 – YES!
    I’m in my middle/late twenties and have chosen to not have a ‘typical’ career, or even a ‘career’ at all. Sometimes I think ‘oh my god, what the heck am I doing?’, living in weird places, working weird jobs, and earning just enough to get by. Sometimes I feel ‘society’ weigh me down with all the expectations of how you SHOULD do things and what success is. It’s nice to hear people (particularly wiser folks than myself) say it’s ok to go down whichever road feels right to you.

    1. Awesome Maiken – keep on beating your own drum and walking your own path – that’s happiness right there, despite whatever “society” might think. I’m so proud of you for being YOU! 🙂

  12. You rock, Sarah. Great life lessons learned; thank you for sharing them with us. As I roll toward the end of my third decade, I find that life just keeps getting fuller and juicier and better and better. Sounds like you’ve found that too!

    I hope we can connect one day. We seem to have so much in common!

    1. Hi Brianne!! So great to hear from you, I’m just finally reading Lady Bits and I’m super impressed – it’s GREAT!!! I hope we can connect some day also – I just started a new podcast and I’m putting you on the list as a future guest so I’ll be in touch soon for sure! xo

  13. Meaghan Shaffer says:

    #26 and #39 to the end…

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